Heart of Beckett

UPDATE (3/22/13)Beckett has been very…very irritable. It breaks my heart. They first thought that maybe he is in pain and hurting. So they gave him some more morphine….it’s hardly phased him. So, they decided to increase his fentanyl (the drug that really hurt him last week when he wasn’t necessarily strategically weaned from it). The Doctor decided to just keep increasing it with hopes that he will finally stop squirming. I had to leave after lunch to work on my Thesis (yes, it’s spring break for my grad schooling….but not really for me. Spring Break = Catch-Up Time.)

So I return after multiple hours of distracting work to find Leah standing at Beckett’s bedside saying “I’ve pretty much been here trying to console him since you left”. Apparently the Doctor just kept increasing his fentanyl….which really wasn’t helping.

So at this point Leah determined that this has to be more of irritability than pain. We have explained this theory to both his day-shift nurse and now his night-shift nurse and are hoping this gets communicated to his Doctor (as we would prefer him to not be on as high of a dose of pain meds that we will only have to eventually wean him off of later, but rather give him sedation to push him past this stage of irritability).

As I’m sitting here in his room the nurse felt that he needed to get suctioned (where they stick a tube down the tube in his throat and suction out any additional and undesirable fluid). Well, I am currently recovering from my heart beating out of my chest once again as his oxygen level plummeted and his heart rate dropped as low as 60 (that’s really low). His body is just so fragile that my mind starts to run away from me to some very dark thoughts (that I’d rather not explain, but I’m sure you can assume).

Sooo, there you have it. That was our day. Leah is contemplating going back to work tomorrow (Saturday) rather than Sunday because of a large snow storm forecasted to be here by then. That was unexpected for the both of us, and definitely something Leah is anxious about.

With all that being said, I’m not sure what to ask for you to keep in mind and pray for….but I know there is plenty there to decipher through (unfortunately). I say all that (and lay ourselves transparent) because we know that so many of you will be praying for us (and now all the more specifically).

A quick reminder, we really do strive hard to read every comment and post on both Facebook and Beckett’s website….so thank you all for the encouragement. We greatly appreciate it! And to everyone who continues to give to us financially, I’m really kind of at a loss for words. “Thank you” doesn’t seem to really cut it….but, “Thank you!”. We are so humbled and so very thankful.

Goodnight everyone!

#GoBeckett!
#ODAAT