Happy 6 Month Birthday Baby Beckett!! We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again, “This has been the fastest and slowest time (6 months now) of our lives!” We are so blessed to have been afforded these past 6 amazing months. Yes, it’s been (by far) the most challenging, exhausting and frustrating time…but truly the most exhilarating, rewarding, and edifying time in both Leah’s and my life. And on top of all that, we are truly blessed with the cutest, smartest, and bravest son a mother and father could ask for. Beckett has taught us so much…..and it’s only been 6 months; imagine what a lifetime will bring!
This morning began with a phone call from a (317) number….that’s always scary. Usually that is the hospital calling with “news”, and it’s rarely news that is desired. However, it was actually our surgeon, Dr. Brown, calling us on his way to the airport. Apparently he is going to be “out-of-town” this weekend and won’t be returning until late Monday evening. He said that he unfortunately won’t be able to meet us until right before the surgery on Tuesday morning, so he decided to call us to at least introduce himself (over the phone), and explain to us his current gameplan. We are actually a little confused with the information he gave, but this what how I interpreted what he said. He mentioned that they (ALL the Cardiologists and ALL 3 Surgeons) discussed Beckett once again this morning and have decided to go ahead and proceed with the “Hemi-Fontan” surgery (that was a bit of a shocker). Then he went on to explain (what he didn’t know that we already knew), that they really are going to be doing what’s called a “Glenn” operation rather than the “Hemi-Fontan”. The shocker (as prefaced earlier) was the statement that (again, it sounded like he said) they would like to just do the Glenn operation first, take him off the heart/lung machine (which they hook him up to during the operation), then check his pressures, and see how he handles it. If he cannot “do it” or “handle it”, they will THEN commence “Plan B” and replace the shunt (this time with a bigger one) and even fix a few of the things they want to fix. Clearly, we are hoping and praying that he will be able to do it. We truly are hopeful. As one friend put it, “Preparing for the worst, Praying for the best.”
Side-Note, after that phone call with Dr. Brown, I couldn’t help but see if this was his actual cell-number. So I saved it as a contact, clicked the number to “send him a message”, and observed that the word “Message” at the top switch from “Message” to “iMessage”. 😉 Dr. Brown has an iPhone! Ha. Now, if we ever have a question…….I have his number! 🙂 Just kidding, just kidding…..but not really. (hope he’s not reading our blog yet)
On another note: Beckett is awesome! If you didn’t already know that, you must not have been reading our blog for very long. 😉 Beckett is now making new noises with his mouth, which is so fun. You can tell he really likes to do it, as if he’s just trying to show off. He can also remove the pacifier from his mouth and successfully place it back in. He’s also done a few impressive “saves” as the paci was falling out. He’s been close to doing this for weeks now, but I haven’t felt like I could state this as a legitimate skill until now. This boy is talented!
Oh, and again….for those of you who’ve been following for a while, you may remember that I was able to (somehow) finish this past semester of grad school. The one exception is that I needed to finish an internship this summer, and until that was done and accomplished, my grade for the class that held this requirement was posted as an “Incomplete”. Well, I can officially state that my grade is posted, it no longer reads “INC”, it has now been changed to an “A”…..and I have NOW officially finished this past semester! This has been a huge accomplishment for me. And I think, I think, I actually somehow did better this past semester than last Fall. #irony Sooo, a big thank you for all of you praying for that. That certainly made everything a bit more challenging, but I’m certain I am a better man because of it.
Lastly. Leah and I have always discussed how all of “this” has had to of happened for a reason. Though there are many positive (and truly amazing) things that have come from this journey, one specific area we’ve hoped to help is to encourage those who are struggling with this exact heart defect (with their child) as well. Well, today that has happened once again. We’ve had other families already reach out who are about to embark upon a similar journey (in which we are flattered and humbled). And we’ve found this opportunity as a great responsibility. We have decided to be honest, but hopeful when speaking about all that has happened in our lives. Well, as I was trying to state earlier, we met another couple today who’s daughter has HLHS and are getting ready to send their daughter into surgery for the first operation of this process. We wanted to be encouraging, but have found it difficult to answer the question, “How did your son do with the first surgery?” After being asked that, I still can’t help but take a deep and dramatic swallow as I think the words, “It was a disaster!”. Surely these are not the words these parents are wanting to hear. But the truth is, Beckett is 6 months old today, and the answer is, “Well, we’ve certainly hit some bumps along the way, but our son is still with us, and we are getting ready to do his next surgery (potentially) in less than a week”. We tell them that this may be difficult, it may go smoothly….it’s hard to say. BUT, the reality is that you don’t know how hard, or how easy it might be….just put one foot in front of the other, take it a step at a time, a moment at a time, soak up the time you get, and love as hard as you can comprehend how. Funny enough, this “advice” is applicable cross-platform. Whatever your circumstances, whatever your situation, live in that moment, hurt in that moment, be refined in it, love in it, it’s ok to cry, it’s certainly ok to smile and laugh…be present. Love, and allow yourself to be loved. I feel like a long-haired hippie at Woodstock (I mean no offense) and am just throwing up both hands with my fingers in the shape of a V mumbling “peace, peace”. But it’s true. Love hard, and live hard. Embrace God’s love and grace. And if you don’t believe in a “god”, look harder, my God is there….and he loves you and wants nothing more than to reveal himself to you. Open your eyes, breathe Him in. Give it a shot, what do you have to lose? If you find grace, you’ve finally found life.