Heart of Beckett

UPDATE (7/1/13)

Whelp, big day tomorrow. Can’t believe this day is finally here. I must preface tomorrow’s “Update” by forewarning you that it may be a pretty busy day, and we may not get to our “daily update” until fairly late…or…it may be brief. But remember, (typically) no news is good news.

Today has been a great day. Beckett hasn’t necessarily been in the best mood though (like he was yesterday). He had such a great demeanor nearly all day yesterday, but today was a different story. We actually had an awesome photographer here today that has been scheduled and canceled over-n-over since February. Sooo, she took some pictures and also documented some of the dedication.

Speaking of, the dedication was a real tear-jerker. I’m already a big sap, so even though I wrote our prayer, Leah pretty much read the entire thing. I slid in for a few sections, but then couldn’t compose myself enough to finish it. He gave the photographer maybe 10 minutes before he was adamantly done. But I think that wore him out enough that he slept the entire dedication. Once he finished he slowly woke up….sooo, we took a bunch more pictures of him with the family before he really figured out what was going on.

Sooo, here I sit…watching Leah hold and rock Beckett. This will be the last time to hold him for quite a while. It’s really starting to sink in for the both of us…….Beckett is having surgery again tomorrow. Wow. It’s natural to get that sick feeling in our stomachs, just not pleasant or welcomed. I’m looking at him right now, and he just opened his eyes, and he’s just looking at me. He has no idea what the next few weeks (or months) hold for him. But really, neither do we. We are just praying that he has continued to develop the will to fight….and clearly, God will be there fighting for him and us every step of the way.

I’ve decided I’ll post our prayer of dedication. It’s a prayer, a declaration, and reminder of where we’ve come from, where we are, and where we are going. Thank you all for your prayers. I truly don’t believe you’ll completely understand just how much we appreciate it.

—————-

Sovereign God,

We have verbally, emotionally, spiritually and physically given this gift, we’ve named Beckett Jude Rupp, back into your care. The irony is, Beckett has always been, and will always be, in your care. So, I guess this is more of an opportunity to publicly acknowledge your sovereign commitment to our son and our family.

To be brief, many would say that these past 6 months have been a disaster. I know that I’ve said it. However, we are learning that one’s personal perspective has great influence on how we define these seemingly subjective terms. If “disaster” is referring to events such as being woke in the middle of the night with news that our son needs immediate surgery on his heart or he will die, or sitting in a dimly lit hallway for hours while questioning if our son is even alive, or hearing that my son has dropped from a 70% survival rate to 40% overnight, or the news that the physicians need to shock my 3 week old son’s chest to calm his heart back down, or watch him desat to single digits numerous times within a few days, or even an emergency trip to another hospital with news that my son may never fully recovery and be ready for the next/required surgery on his heart………if these events are associated with disaster, then yes…these past few months have been a disaster. But here’s the rub…to every coin, there is another side. How about the perspective that my wife had a “smooth” pregnancy, or that we got an entire day with our son without all the tubes and chords, or that his condition was even caught, or the amazing nurses, doctors and surgeons who truly care deeply for our son, or that we have amazing friends and family (& strangers) bending over backwards to do all that they can to help “soften the blow” to that which we’ve been referring to as a “disaster”, or how about all the thousands of people impacted and challenged by our son’s life and journey, or one of the most important perspectives….my son is still alive!! We’ve both been privileged with celebrating mother’s and father’s day! We’ve been in enough hospitals to fully understand how blessed we are to say that. Our current story of “life” is not every parent’s story, unfortunately. And though I must declare that I trust God’s sovereign plan, no matter how much I may disagree with it at times, I am so blessed to be able to look over and see, kiss, and love on my son for another day.

So we declare and dedicate out of thankfulness and an edified soul Beckett Jude Rupp to The Lord. You, Lord, are why we are even gathered in this room (whether we fully understand that or not). You are sovereign, you are loving, you are gracious, and you’ve been so faithful to our family.

The name, Beckett, means “The one dwelling by the stream”. We choose to to assimilate this stream with the still waters referred to in Psalm 23.
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.

Beckett’s middle name, Jude, is a powerful name we dedicate to that of Jude 1:1, which states that Jude was a servant of Jesus Christ.

You are all here because this little boy has grabbed your heart. He’s certainly a fighter. But even stronger than he, is our Father. The one word Leah and I can both agree on that we have felt spoken to us is, “wait”. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth.” We have also clung to the words in Exodus 14:14
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

2 Corinthians 12:9 says,
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Psalm 73:26
God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Lord, our son is in your hands. We do ask that you continue to heal him. But, all the more applicable to this moment, we dedicate Beckett Jude Rupp to be trained up in the ways of your word. May others always hear, see, and experience you through the life of our son. Thank you for him, may we never take a day for granted.

To God be ALL the Glory,
Amen.

#GoBeckett
#ODAAT

— with Leah ‘Whiteley’ Rupp at Riley Hospital for Children at IU Health.