Man, I don’t even know where to begin. After typing out what seems like hundreds of these updates…sometimes it’s hard to know what to say or how to begin. Sometimes it just “flows”, other times it’s like “pulling teeth.” I’m not starting this update with this seemingly unnecessary preface because anything bad has happened today…but rather just trying to find my footing.
These days can tend to be tiring, monotonous…and really, sometimes it’s just “draining” to spend what seems like every waking moment in a hospital. However, today was really good at times and yet, really tiring.
Beckett was either laughing and playing….OR….crying and screaming. And as some of you know, babies have different kinds of screams. Sometimes it’s a scream that symbolizes them just being tired, and other times (at least for me) it feels like there must be something wrong. Well, I’m not trying to say that there is “something wrong” with Beckett, but numerous times today he’d scream so hard (while I’m trying to console him) that doctors and nurses would poke their head in just to see if everything was ok. I’d usually respond with a shrug, or with the question “any suggestions?” Unfortunately we ended up giving him some Ativan this afternoon (last resort), which definitely helped. I finally got him to sleep, but……..our nurse accidentally woke him up. Yeah……it’s hard not to get disappointed by that…but she didn’t mean to. Coincidently, he really never fell back asleep after that. He had some more meltdowns, and really just didn’t sleep much today (so I guess he should technically sleep really well tonight for his nurse).
We are still trying to figure out his feedings/formula. And deliberate if we want to really push for this gj-tube. Please pray for us while we work this out. Moreover, please continue to pray for lil Beckett. He’s such a little trooper, but he’s been really really cranky lately (as I’ve mentioned). He’s been through so much, so he deserves a lil crankiness, but not to the point of discomfort. We just want him comfortable and happy (which he is often…just not as of late).
My Mom and Dad are here again. They’ve been busy with their other grandchildren. You know, they should get some grandma and grandpa time too…cause we’ve definitely been hoggin’ it a lot this year. 😉 So, it’s nice to have them back around.
Oh, and one last thing. As much as I’m afraid to even post this, they did mention that if Beckett has a good weekend, we could be going home as soon as Monday. But that theory involves no gj-tube. So we’ll see how all that/this plays out. One moment and one step at a time.
Oh, and please continue to pray for Leah and I. That we do not neglect one another, that we actively love one another, and fight the urge to be lazy and self-centered at times. In some regards (hospital life, marriage life, family life), we could really use a “second wind”.