Today is a significant day for our family. As Leah and I reminisce on a year ago from today, we cannot help but acknowledge the hardest few hours of our lives. Beckett’s first surgery was last January on the 2nd, and though it initially seemed to go well, roughly 8 hours after the operation was complete, everything took a turn for the worse; thus, the most challenging year of our lives.
On January 2, 2013 Leah and I were enjoying a dinner in Beckett’s room, after a long day of anxiety, when we were suddenly asked to step out of the room. We made our way down to the waiting room, but unfortunately both of our families had already gone home for the night (over an hour away) because of the stable condition Beckett was supposedly in. What made things worse was that we waited a few hours before we were even addressed as to what was going on with our son. What really freaked us out was finally being addressed by someone, but that someone being the hospital’s Chaplin (that’s never a good sign). The Chaplin didn’t know much about Beckett’s condition, so we were still left with many questions. Eventually we were greeted with the news that Beckett suddenly began to bleed out and went into cardiac arrest. Our surgeon had to rush back in and the medical team was doing compressions on Beckett for nearly 45 minutes while he was being hooked up to “life-support” (Ecmo). Our surgeon was reluctant to deliver the news, but felt obliged to let us know that in his professional opinion, Beckett will definitely suffer from a degree of brain damage due to this incident.
With ALL that being said, in many regards, this night set the trajectory for the following 8 months of our 2013 year. To be even more transparent, and in my shortsightedness (but also slightly joking), I mentioned to Leah while watching the ball drop on 2013 to begin this new year, “Sayonara 2013!” Though this evoked a small laugh from her, she was quick to respond with the balanced perspective of just how much we truly have to be thankful for. Yes, we are thankful for our “favorable” outcome, but more importantly, we are truly grateful for the journey. God has done many amazing things in and through this massive trial, it would be foolish to wish that away. Though in my weakness, I wish for “normalcy”, we truly have an amazing life, an amazing God, an amazing story, and an amazing son!
Happy New Year everyone! I will commit to you if you can do the same with me in at least trying to pursue a healthy perspective while finding the blessing in the storm this year of 2014. Pain hurts…and no matter how difficult life gets, emotions are natural….but let’s cling to a healthy perspective and the understanding that God is still sovereign and is still in control.