So, this is getting difficult. Our flesh is quite weak. Many times throughout the day (including about 5 minutes ago) my heart was pounding through my chest out of fear and anxiety. As I’d take Leah’s ’emotional temp’ throughout the day, she’d respond with statements like ‘I’m about ready to break’.
While watching his monitor (a favorite past-time of ours as of late … #fictitious), he’d have a somewhat stable read and then desat his heart rate, or then his oxygen….it would just plummet for no reason. This ‘roller coaster’ would literally make us sick to our stomachs. The feeling of helplessness and fear would be overwhelming. And though we still trust in our God’s omnipotence, that doesn’t necessarily remove reactive emotion. At this point, I feel as if I’m just mindlessly venting, and I value your guys time more than that to continue.
So, a few quick technical/medical updates:
– They are doing an Upper GI soon, to make sure his anatomy is normal
– He’ll probably get his G-Tube (a tube going into his stomach for feedings) this week
– The Docs think that his shunt (a plastic tube they surgically inserted during his first initial surgery) is possibly pumping too much blood to his lungs
– They are not changing any Meds
– They obviously want to wean him back off the Ventilator as soon as possible
– The Infectious Disease Doctor came in and said his CRP (inflammation) is elevated now, sooo (and as a result), he does have another infection, but they are not sure what it is yet until possibly sometime tomorrow (those cultures take some time to provide results/answers)
So that’s that. Again, I’m typing out of weakness, so I apologize for grammatical errors, unpolished flow, and any course and impatient verbiage.
I cling to some comforting words of a worship song that has gained a whole new meaning for me as of late:
Give me faith to trust what You say
That You’re good, and Your love is great.
I’m broken inside, I give You my life.
I may be weak, but
Your Spirit’s strong in me.
My flesh may fail, but
My God You never will.
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still”