Leah left for home last night to be a little closer to work for the day today. I was with Beckett last night until after midnight. He was extremely irritable and needed a lot of attention. I tried to help him fall asleep over and over, but he wouldn’t remain asleep for much longer than 5 minutes until he would then awake in hysterical crying. Thankfully he was always consolable, it was just exhausting. Little did I know that he was merely giving me a glance at what was in store for me all of today. Now, to be fair…please feel more bad for him then me, as he is the one “uncomfortable” and crying.
I held him multiple times today, his nurse held him, we put him on his stomach, we put him on either side, we inclined his bed, we flattened his bed, I’d “swing” him, I’d pat him, I’d rub his head, I put a towel over his eyes, I fanned him with my hands, on-n-on-n-on…..until we’d either make it to his scheduled methadone dose or have to give him a rescue dose of morphine (which hardly helps anymore). The thing is, all of the aforementioned attempts actually worked….but for only 5-10 minutes (I think I had him sleeping one time for about 15-20 minutes). He’d startle himself and wake up aggressively crying. I tried to do all that I could to “pacify” the situation without the intervention of drugs; for the most part, it kind of worked. I got so tired from the past 24 hours or so, that when his Respiratory Therapist came in for a 5 minute treatment, I sat down in a rocker and nearly immediately began to snore……ooops. 😉
Please pray as he has continued to withdrawal pretty hard the past few days. He’s also lost some weight. However, that is expected as he is just now recently being slowly reintroduced to his feeds. He threw up a few times today as they’ve continued to increase his volumes daily (so needless to say, they are going to slow down a little now because of that). From a respiratory standpoint, he’s rockin’ it. He doesn’t really desat at all, even when he’s crying…which is great! He’s still a little yellow from the increased level of direct bilirubin, but we were warned that it may take 7-10 days to really see any results from the Zosyn (his infection medicine for this).
We really are content and pleased where Beckett is at physically. We were just sitting here together in his room reminiscing not only how far he’s come over the past few months, but especially even the past few weeks. It was a beautiful day outside today, and we hope and long to eventually get to spend a beautiful day like today outside as a family, Beckett and all! 🙂 #ODAAT
— with Leah ‘Whiteley’ Rupp at St. Vincent Women’s Hospital.
Heart of Beckett 
Lord thank you for the progress that little Beckett is making with his breathing. And Lord we know he’s still struggles with other medical problems, but Lord please help Beckett as he is going through this withdrawal. Right now, please give him a peace that only you can give him. Give this little guy who is such a fighter some rest and Lord please help him through this withdrawal so well that Drs and nurses can only attribute it to a miracle. And bless Jonny and Leah, help them as they stand together loving and supporting each other and hurting for their son as only his parents can; while having to deal with everyday life things like work, school, laundry, a home miles away and so many other things that we take for granted. We ask and thank you in your precious and holy name. Amen.
I am glad to hear that there is progress and Beckett is healing. Praying that today is better and the withdrawal symptoms are gone, in Jesus name. Praying also for rest and peace for you. It is so hard and you are doing an amazing job.