March 15, 2013

UPDATE (3/15/13)

I cannot believe it’s already March 15th. Leah and I were just talking at dinner that we’ve outlasted all our friends we’ve met since being here. Unfortunately (and that isn’t even the appropriate word), one of the babies we mentioned a week ago or so passed away earlier today. It was gut-wrenching and heart-wrenching to watch. The baby was just a few doors down from us, and it was quite sobering to watch them grieve, unpack the room, and even see a funeral director show up. For me, it really REALLY put everything into perspective. We had an opportunity to speak with the mom before she left, and she whispered into Leah’s ear as they hugged, “cherish it”. Please pray for this family, as this is a pain they are experiencing that many of us will never know. I cannot imagine how difficult that has to be.

Beckett has had an “ok” day. It was actually a little disheartening for me because Leah had been telling me throughout these past few days while I was back at home how peaceful and happy he’s been. It wasn’t an awful day, but Beckett did throw up (which I know happens with babies, but Beckett doesn’t typically throw up twice unless something is wrong). Then as the day progressed he was quite irritable. Leah even got to hold him again for the first time in nearly a week. Though he slept great in her arms, she kept saying ‘he just doesn’t seem comfortable’. They did turn off his fentanyl today (which is a pain med), so he might be withdrawing some from that….but it’s just been a troubling day. As I type, they are giving him what’s referred to as a ‘rescue dose’ of morphine. He’s just breathing heavy and his heart rate is on the higher side. This should help him, but is clearly not a preferred situation.

Soooo, please continue to pray for Beckett (as I know many of you are). We are very eager to come home, but certainly want to make sure he’s “ok” to do so before that happens.

Pray for Leah. She has been a rock throughout all of this, but it can get exhausting day-in and day-out here in a hospital. Just pray for strength, joy and peace…as she deserves all of that and more.

And lastly (or should I say, selfishly), please pray for me. I have my days of strength, but more frequently than I’d like I’ve experienced an uncomfortable amount of weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9 – ‘And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.’ Paul is such a punk, huh? No, I’m clearly just kidding. This verse is just so difficult to live out. But the thing I do know is that it’s true. I AM a living testimony of this, and yet I still struggle to consistently embody that truth. And yet, I resonate with Paul once again in 1 Timothy when he says, ‘I am the worst sinner of all.’ Boy, do I not have it altogether….but I know what I do have, His grace. I rewind back to 2 Corinthians 12:9 again that ‘My grace is sufficient for thee’.
– Thank you Jesus
– One day at a time
– Cherishing all that I have.
As I’ve said before, life is a precious gift…do not only cherish your own (staying reminded of Philippians 1:21), but cherish your children, cherish one another, cherish your spouse, cherish your family, and cherish your friends. And most of all, cherish your salvation found only in Christ. His grace is sufficient.

#GoBeckett

— with Leah ‘Whiteley’ Rupp at St. Vincent’s Women’s Hospital.

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