Heart of Beckett

Whelp, last night was a success! You may have seen (from the picture I posted), I surprised Leah with a Carriage Ride in downtown Indy last night. She was awfully resistant at first (to the “surprise”, not the actual Carriage Ride), but eventually realized that I wasn’t gonna take no for an answer. I’ve been wanting to do something special for Leah for a while now, but I don’t share this to show just how awesome of a husband I am. In fact, the Carriage Ride wasn’t even my idea. I was brainstorming the other weekend with one of Beckett’s nurses while Leah was at work of a potential idea for something I could do for/with Leah before Beckett’s surgery. I know Leah well enough that she would not leave with me for quite some time after Beckett’s surgery for something like a Carriage Ride. Sooo, it had to happen now….and I think we are both glad we did it. Someone (among the many of you extremely generous friends) sent us $100 and encouraged us to use it however we pleased. Well, I chose to use it for a night out with my wife on a lil Carriage Ride, some South Bend Chocolate Factory treats, and a low-key movie night back at the house we’ve been staying at. You all are so very generous and thoughtful, being so intentional in even looking out for Leah and I along this journey…we will truly never be able to adequately express our gratitude.

Beckett has had another good day today. He did start doing the P.A.C.s thing with his heart again. But we are beginning to learn that the Neos and Cardiologists don’t seem overly concerned…..so we are trying to do the same.

We had some great visitors once again today. Some friends of Taylor University, and even a couple from our NICU days back at St. Vincent’s. As you’ve heard me say it before, we do love visitors, and Beckett does as well. For the most part, he behaved really well. He had a few “meltdowns” here-n-there, but he also flashed a few great smiles. He’s such a little charmer!

Leah actually ran out today and got her hair cut, did a little shopping, and just spent some good time with her Mom and sister. While shopping, she was specifically looking for a new outfit for Beckett. We’ve decided to have a mini-dedication service for him on July 1st, where we simply display our gratitude for Beckett and his life, commit to raising him to know and love God, and outwardly express our willingness to place him back in our God’s sovereign hands. My brother-in-law is who married Leah and I, and so fittingly, we’ve decided to ask if he’d do this with/for us. We’ve even gotten the hospital to allow us to “fill” Beckett’s room with family for the brief moment…..and we are just very excited about this opportunity! One thing I must make clear (and not that anyone may be thinking this), but I would assume if you’ve been following our blog for a while now that you have observed a authentic commitment to our faith. This has never been “hocus-pocus” to us. This is what we know, have experienced and are inspired to share. Soooo, to clarify, this dedication is not being done the day before Beckett’s surgery as a symbolic measure that may hopefully save his life. We are choosing this day as a day to commemorate Beckett’s amazing life and journey, and verbally commit my son’s life and upbringing to the Lord. God is in control, we are not. May God always be glorified in our family, especially through the life of our amazing son, Beckett.

#GoBeckett
#ODAAT

Today was another good day. I met up this morning with some “Beckett Fans” back in Upland at our house to discuss options on how to fix our bathroom (supposedly we need a new tub…ours was leaking) and even fixing the drywall from our roof leaking a few months ago (there was a massive storm in our town). Normal wear-n-tear from owning a house is expected, but these issues have been especially stressful to be dealing with these past few months. However, we are so thankful for an amazing community willing to help out during this time of need. Home repairs are kind of the last thing we want to be dealing with right now, but it has to get done. I was originally planning on possibly putting in a patio this summer (before we knew about Beckett’s condition), but finances aren’t necessarily permitting and priorities have had to be rearranged. Hopefully someday. 🙂

I spent a few hours today back on campus (at TU) and was encouraged by many familiar faces who have been following our updates. I can’t believe that Beckett will be having surgery one week from tomorrow! We knew it would come fast, and it has. It’s actually scary to talk about it. I’m not sure those whom I was talking to could hear it in my voice (because I was trying to hide it), but I couldn’t help but literally quiver a little when talking about his surgery being one week away. I know it isn’t really a healthy thought, but if/when I would say out loud, “I hope this isn’t the last week with my son”, it would require all the strength I had in that moment to not break down. Again, I understand that thoughts and statements like that aren’t necessary or helpful, but it certainly puts this week in perspective and focused my attention on what is important right now. There is no convincing reason to believe that Beckett won’t do fine with this upcoming surgery, but sometimes it’s hard to not imagine the worst. I guess it does help realign my attention to cherish these moments, and I would say that there are times thoughts like that could be healthy even in YOUR lives to not live like tomorrow is a guarantee. I’m not advocating that you should live in fear, or constantly assume that the last time you see someone may be the last…but I AM saying that this journey has certainly helped me decrease how often I take situations, friendships, and family for granted. For some of you, this might be a healthy concept to meditate on. But I must say, my intention has not been to use this blog to tell others what they should be doing….but rather, share with you what it is we have been wrestling through, struggling with, failing at, and hopefully learning! It’s been a delicate balance to write transparently, honestly, and boldly…so I hope you’ve found this blog to be informative and encouraging as it has been therapeutic for us as well. It isn’t always easy taking the time to write out our thoughts and daily activities each evening (especially having a long stressful day), but we have such an amazing following who have supported us, prayed for us, encouraged us and have simply been there for us nearly SIX MONTHS NOW! …..it’s amazing! You just deserve it. It’s only fair to try and write down a few words each evening to document and share this amazing journey of Beckett Jude Rupp with the world (our website has been hit by 49 countries…that’s crazy!)

So, to wrap up. I completely anticipate these updates getting more and more boring, as I hope to have less and less to share (other than how amazing Beckett’s recovery is going). As I’ve mentioned before, we are eager and excited to bring Beckett home (whenever that day may be), and look forward to showing him off to whomever wants to meet this little stud. We continue to ask for healing, and certainly an amazing, smooth, and successful surgery next Tuesday (July 2nd!). Thank you!

#GoBeckett
#ODAAT

Another good day. Beckett can still get a little cranky here-n-there, but we think it could be either normal baby stuff, some soreness in his legs still, or possibly even teething. However, he’s not always cranky. When he wakes up naturally (without loud noises, needing to poop, spitting up, etc), he’s quite pleasant and happy.

Our day began with Leah holding Beckett. She was the first to try out the fancy new chair (while holding Beckett) in our fancy new room here at Riley. He slept well, but eventually Leah was woken by something that felt a little warm and possibly wet. Yup, turns out Beckett was peeing and it was making its way outside of his diaper. Ooops. I was actually out, and returned to him on the floor playing with Physical Therapy. He wasn’t too happy about it. She said that Beckett is usually hit-n-miss; sometimes he loves therapy and borderline “shows-off”, and other times he wants nothing to do with it. This was kind of a “middle-of-the-road” kinda day. He was tolerating it, but gently moaning and whimpering the entire time. Eventually he “snapped”, and was over it.

Anyways, the afternoon proceeded with more friends. We had another St. Vincent medical staff visitor. It’s amazing that we haven’t been at St. Vincent’s for more than 2 months now, and we still get visitors from there….so blessed. So, she held him for a while and we just caught up as he slowly drifted asleep in her arms.

Then, Leah’s Dad came down for the evening. It was kinda hand-off time. Our friend from St. V’s had to leave, so we just had PaPaw slide right in. He hasn’t been able to make it down to see Beckett for a little while, so it was nice to give him the chance to hold him once again. We then went out to eat with him and returned to a sleeping baby.

Speaking of, Beckett has been sleeping a lot…but it’s a good thing. When he is awake, he does play hard…but it really tires him out, so then he sleeps hard. He’s spent A LOT of time on his back that he has definitely been developing a flat head…and not only a flat head, but it’s started to angle off to the side now. In the grand scheme of things, this does not really matter…but PT did mention that they may start discussing needing to give him a helmet (which, I guess helps re-round a babies head while it is still moldable). Not a big deal, but I just thought I’d mention it just in case we start posting pictures and our cut little Beckett is sporting an awesome helmet. 😉

Lastly, you may have notice that I posted a picture of 4 photos of Beckett. I need your help to determine which one is your (or your family’s) favorite. Once we receive word when and where to upload the photo (which, we are now being told may be as late as this upcoming Fall…but we’ll see), you votes will help us decide which one to choose. It’s a difficult decision (well, at least for us it is). We think he is such a cutie, and believe it or not…these pictures still do not do him justice.
Oh, and if you couldn’t tell…option “B” is the Gerber Photo I edited and posted a few months ago:
https://heartofbeckett.com/2013/03/18/march-18-2013/

Thanks everyone! #GoBeckett #ODAAT